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Top ten ways to tell you (PCs) are outmatched
Top ten ways to tell you've been conned
Buy sandals (you may be naked but at least you're not barefoot!).
Buy a knife sheath (question, where do you get the knife?).
Buy bread ('nuff said).
Buy a small beer (define 'small').
Buy soup (for whatever reason you'd want that).
Buy herbs (now you won't die, you're just broke).
Buy a small basket (to carry rocks perhaps).
Buy 5 candles (they're cheep but not much else).
Buy 5 pieces of chalk (for you poor sidewalk artists).
Buy a piton (??????????)
Buy a small sack (sack racing?).
Buy two needles ("Maybe we can poke the giant to death!").
Buy a sling or 5 bullets (take your pick).
A bath and 2 loads of laundry (...sure, at least you don't stink).
Buy a cat and a chicken ("Chicken wings tonight!").
Well, I'm sure that reading this makes you feel pretty well off. Perhaps (for you DM's) you can pull this on a player complaining of being too poor!
Ask questions that no one cares about ("Who cares about the dragon, what color are my brown pants?").
Cause him to create needless personalities for NPC's ("I'm gonna' talk to that guy selling beans").
Constantly split the party up ("I'm gonna go eat a snack while my friends kill the ogre.").
That ever popular question ("Are we there yet?").
Every time you buy something make him describe EVERY detail ("What exactly does this sling bullet look like?").
If you have ever done this PLEASE e-mail neo726 describing all that you can remember. If you are a DM you should have skimmed past this.
Someone yells "I got a 19 to hit" and the DM says you miss.
The enemy kills someone in one hit.
The enemy has more attacks than you can count.
The enemy laughs at your fireball.
The DM laughs when someone declares "I'm gonna' kick his butt!"
The DM keeps rolling hit dice and making grim faces.
The enemy casts spells that you've never heard of.
The enemy's weapon is the size of your character.
The enemy knows what you're thinking.
The enemy doesn't seem at all concerned that you're controlling a sphere of annihilation.
Have you ever had a PC that is clueless, maybe even the whole party. Just how many hints do you have to drop before you straight out give it to them? And sometimes they still don't get it! Ex:
They go in the wrong direction. (PC: "Yes, I said charge the army, I know it's the right way!" DM: "Are you sure?" PC: "Yes." DM: "Really?" PC: "...yes." DM (muttering): "Your funeral.")
PCs leave designated adventuring area. (PC's in town. PC: "We go south, out of the town." DM: "You are walking down the road and you meet up with a old man. "I hear that there's some mighty dragon's down south, maybe a whole army of 'em!" PC: "We keep going.")
PCs miss even the most obvious clues. A rather exaggerated example: The door says "push." They pull.
Or, what happens when the PC's take it upon themselves to create scenery. (PC: "I walk through the north door." DM: "...what door?" PC: "...the door." DM: "......no. There is no door." PC: "Yes!" DM: "...no.")
Top 10 ways to tell you've been conned
Here's a bit of help for you PCs who keep getting screwed.
You are offered an outrageous sum of money to do something trivial.
The person who hirers you doesn't seem to elaborate on the job.
You can't seem to find the person who hired you when you want to.
You have to meet the person your working for in a run-down part of town.
Shortly after being hired your name appears on a wanted poster.
Nobody seems to know who you're talking about when you mention who you're working for.
The city guards arrest you when you mention who you're working for.
Everything seems...too easy.
Immediately after agreeing to do a job for someone, you are attacked by assassins.
After sealing a deal with someone, you walk outside and see their face on a wanted poster.